Apple cider vinegar: the crux of the pantry

According to the internet, apple cider vinegar has 134 uses.

While I'm no expert on them all, I'd say I've dabbled in enough of them to merit writing a blog post about it. I suppose my bi-monthly purchase of 16oz bottles is also reflective of my love for ACV. That's apple cider vinegar as an acronym, btw. Oh, and BTW means "by the way." Learn something new everyday! I digress.

Alright, ACV! I use it - a lot. Truth be told, although there are tons of recipes that call for it, I rarely use ACV for cooking. I mostly drink it and dump it on my head.

Important: You can't just get any old apple cider vinegar and call it a day. No, you gotta get the ACV with 'the mother' in it - or else the stuff is as useless as the g in lasagna. Sorry, that was not an original joke, so if you don't like it, fine. Anyhow, what is 'the mother,' you ask? Why, it is the beneficial bacteria culture that ferments and creates the ACV in the first place, silly!

I.e.: You need that slimy brown shit floatin' around the bottom of the bottle if you want to take advantage of that ACV ~magic~

Cool - now what should you use it for!? Like I said, there are at least 75,236 ways to use ACV, so this is in no way an exhaustive list. Obviously you can use this stuff for cleaning and cooking, but I'm not going to tell you how to add vinegar to a salad. Booo. Who cares.

1. Sickness prevention, digestive assistance, + heartburn healing

Option 1: SHOTS! Fill half of a shot glass with ACV, fill the remainder with water, toss it back. (Once per day)

Option 2: Fill an ~8oz glass with a ~tablespoon of ACV, dilute with water, gargle and swallow throughout the day. (1-3 times/day)

Option 3: Same as option 2, but add shit like honey and coconut sugar to make it taste less like, well, vinegar.

Why though? ACV is antibacterial, breaks up mucus and sinus congestion, stimulates digestion, and balances acid levels in the stomach. While I'm luckily not familiar with heartburn, I can attest success with the former. You would think drinking acid would make heartburn worse, but the people of the internet say otherwise.

2. Hair conditioner

All you need is an empty spray bottle for this. Half ACV, half water - spray it all over your head while you shower, and boom - silky smooth hairs. Personally, I like to add eucalyptus, lavender, and tea tree essential oils - they have natural benefits as well, but if I'm being honest, I do it so my hair doesn't smell like a freshly-cleaned counter. Although, that doesn't sound *so* bad.

Why though? ACV is high in acetic acid and has a pH level similar to human hair, which helps bring your hair and scalp to its' optimal acidity. Science!

3. Dryer-sheet alternative

I just found this one out a few weeks ago when I lost my dryer-ball. And yeah, I'm a dork and got a dryer-ball to replace dryer sheets because they are chemical bombs, whatever, shut up. Anyway, soak a washcloth with ACV and pop it in the dryer to prevent static cling and make your clothes nice and soft.

Why though? ACV is a natural fabric softener and static-reducer - but low and behold, I could not find out the biological reason as to why... so we'll chop it up as magic!

4. Facial toner

Cotton ball, meet ACV - ACV, meet cotton ball - cotton ball, meet face. Rinse off this cordial meeting with your good friend H2O.

Why though? ACV is a skin astringent, oil-absorber, and pH-balancer. I guess maintaining proper pH levels is important when taking care of the magnificent realm that is the human body. Who knew?

This list is a work in progress, probably. Meh, maybe not. Hope you enjoyed and goodbye forever!