Post summary: A list of fun facts, with a keen focus on beasts and critters of Planet Earth. Part d'eux:
GIANT MANTA RAYS
Skill: being massive
Giant manta rays are the biggest rays of the sea! They are harmless, wholesome fish that have a wingspan of 20+ feet - it's really too bad they can't hug. Although, since they weigh as much as a fully grown rhinoceros (about 5,000lbs) maybe feigning for a giant manta hug isn't the best idea... no, it is.
CICADAS
Skill:(?) organ placement
These bugs are loud and weird, but they're not just annoying pests that fly into your hair and traumatize you the entire summer after 8th grade. They are unique. Cicadas ears are housed in their stomachs, and crickets' ears are in their knees. Good for them.
BUTTERFLIES
Skill: auto-repair
Have you ever seen a butterfly with a torn wing? Well, wipe that reminiscent tear off your cheek, because that butterfly probably grew its' own wing back and lived a great life. Yeah, they can just re-grow their wings, no big deal. Pfff. Oh and these magic flying flower petals are found everywhere in the world - except Antarctica.
SECRETARY BIRD Skill: kicking
Move over, Messi. The secretary bird kicks faster than the blink of an EYE with a force 5x its own body weight. This bird is also a straight savage - it eats snakes, lizards, and small animals. If it can't swallow them whole, it stomps them to death...yoikes. For a bird named after the most amicable and mundane job title, you'd think it would be more.. chill.
WATER DEER
Skill: Halloween-ready
The water deer, AKA the Vampire Deer, bears striking tusks rather than the traditional antler (trendy AF). Throw 'em a black cloak and some fake blood and they are Hallows Eve ready! However, these furry walrus dogs are native to China and Korea, two countries that do not celebrate Halloween.. so, sadly, the cute deer-Dracula situation I just described has likely never occurred.
ORCHID MANTIS
Skill: looking like a flower
Orchid mantis - hands down, hottest of all the mantis - like, by far, it's not even close. The females are almost twice as large as the males, so orchid mantis don't have to deal with the patriarchy (must be nice). They are sick bastards though, because apparently their diet consists of random bugs and, um, *baby* orchid mantis. Ugh, ruthless. All the pretty ones are.
SNAILS
Skill: strength
We all know about ants. They're sooo strong. But what about snails? They're strong too! Just a lot, lot lessss strong. Still, snails can lift 10-15x their own body weight. Nice! They are also able to open container lids.. if they're not shut properly... so be careful with your pickle jars and stuff. Because snails.
GRASSHOPPER MICE
Skills: a bunch of weird shit
Okay, where to start? Grasshopper mice are total creeps. First off, they stand up on their hind legs to howl like wolves, as seen in the picture above. They stalk their prey similar to cats. They're aggressive and carnivorous, so, probably rude. There is one pretty dope thing about these mice, though.. they're able to eat venomous scorpions because they can turn its' toxins into a painkiller. WHAAAT, I know, right! Okay, I take back the creep thing.
MANTIS SHRIMP
Skill: punching
Bullies everywhere should be embarrassed. They've been using the word "shrimp" to demean scrawny preteens - all the while describing a crustacean whose punch was deemed "the world's fastest and most powerful" by Nat Geo. Mantis shrimp are hardasses - they can break through aquarium glass that's 1/4 inch thick (and apparently have on many occasions). Also, they attack their prey by jabbing them with their vicious shrimp fists until they're dead. Shrimps rule, bullies drool. See ya!